Los Angeles Marathon XXI

The night before:
Apparently there is much debate about whether or not an athlete should carb load before a big event. My bible (which I followed religiously) told me I should carb up all week, and if I felt like I hadn't eaten enough carbs that on the night before I should eat a particularly carby meal. Since I feel like I could never eat "enough carbs" I decided to go for a nice Italian meal. I wanted to go early (6pm is early meal time in LA, for some people it's even considered a late lunch...) and was unpleasantly surprised by the shit-tastic service we got from a normally delicious and low key restaurant. It probably didn't help that I had been sitting in the auto shop all day with my car, so waiting an hour and fifteen minutes for food was not on my 'things to do' list. I've crossed that restaurant off my list. Il Capricio - if you were wondering.

The morning of:
I woke up at 3:45AM and kind of tossed and turned until 5:30AM. I was fretting about what to wear, if I should eat, was I going to have to go number 2 during the course, etc, etc. Finally I got dressed and Louie came to pick me up. He dealt with my nerves and my non-specific directions as best as he could. I am a trial.

The Line Up:
I met Eric, Dave, Karma and Joe at the corner of 4th and Fig, which was a block away from the start line. It was freezing. I was wearing shorts. Goose bumps and white legs. Sexy.

Eric gave me some pointers and tips and before too long we heard the gun and Randy Newman's "I Love LA" playing, and we were off. Sort of. The start line is packed about a block and a half deep, so we walked until we crossed the actual start line and then Eric and Dave took off, and Karma and I puttered along.

Mile 1 through 6:
It is an amazing thing running with 25,000 strangers. You can only hear their footsteps and clothing and see the mass of heads bumping along in front of you. I did my best not to over run the first six miles, just took it slow and hydrated at every water stop. Karma had to pee at about mile 3 or 4, so I was alone running along, and at mile 6 I decided I need to pee to. I lost about 5 to 7 minutes in line for the portapotty, but wasn't about to drop trou like the crazy people and pee beside a building. When I started back up again, I picked my pace up a bit, but not too much, I wanted to make up time, but I wasn't terribly worried about it.

Mile 6 through 13.2:
People were out everywhere cheering for the runners, calling out the names they could read on people's bibs, banging pots together. I started using my iPod around here, just to pass the time. I could have done it with out, but I figured since I was carrying it, I might as well listen to it. In two places "Eye of the Tiger" which is on my iPod was being played live, but the "On Course Entertainment." I expected to feel really tired at the half way mark, but the only thing I felt was a little mental twinge. I was tired, but the mental image of doing what I had just run, except with more hills, made me a little... weary. I used the techniques my training bible taught me and that went away pretty quickly. At some point Karma reappeared, and we ran together for a while. I slowed down a bit and she kept going. Around here I took 2 more Advil and got drank/ate a Cliff Shot (the Vanilla flavor is delicious.)

Mile 13 through 19:
There were a few small hills to contend with, but nothing like what I had been training on, so that was a total relief. In fact, if anyone wants to train in Los Angeles for the marathon, I highly recommend Los Feliz/Silverlake/Echo Park. Our hills are killer. We started moving through neighborhoods I'm very familiar with on this part of the course, because of my commute to and from work, so that was nice. Running up Wilshire Blvd, there was a big cold wind blowing right in your face, then it would switch and be at your back, I almost put my wind breaker back on, but before too long we were on 6th Street and the wind was gone. At mile 18 they had a "Salonpas" pain relief station, where they sprayed some kind of Ben Gay type solution on your legs. It might be a pure placebo effect, but it felt great. Then I got just passed mile 19 and a group of my friends were there cheering me on. I was so happy to see them. Louie took a few photos.

Mile 20 through 26:
Wow. This is a blur for me because as they say, the last six miles are the last half of the marathon. You know you can finish, you just don't know how. I saw a man in the middle of the street, he had collapsed and a couple of people were trying to help him. I'm not sure if he was one of the two people that died. I kept going. I walked a few times in this last six just to give my knees some relief. I was also getting worried about my left foot. I was experiencing some numbness in the pad and two of my toes. At mile 26, Karma and I reconnected and I started to push pretty hard.

Mile 26.2:
There is no way for me to describe running up Flower seeing the finish line, knowing that the past sixteen weeks had led up to this one moment. I crossed. I got a little choked up. They took off my timing chip and I half limped to get my medal. I kind of had to lean down because the woman was so short. It felt heavy around my neck. I had finished it.

Post Marathon:
After the medal you run the gauntlet of water, gatorade, shiny blankets, cliff bars and I devoured one and a half. (Which is probably why I got a little sick when we got to the car.) Louie was there with flowers and I was ready to start planning my next one.

I can't believe how awesome it feels to do this. I love it and will do it again.

THE MARATHON

Scheduled: 26.2
Actual: 26.2
RPE: 7

I have a long post planned for this, but there are some highlights I want to remember right now.

Running the first four miles it's hard not to get caught up in the excitement and out run yourself. People are passing you, and you want to keep up, but you listen to your weeks of training and pace yourself.

The first eight miles are as easy as your 5 milers usually are. The excitement is still there and you know you've got a lot left in you.

Hearing people you don't know shout out your name is really amazing. I wish I had that in my every day life. Just walking down the street having someone say, "You can do it, Tamara!" would make me a lot happier person.

The halfway point sort of made me depressed. I knew it was going to feel that way because I know how hard running 18 miles is, but I was depressed nonetheless.

The Salonpas site at mile 18 was heaven. I don't know if what they spray on you really works, but it gives your brain the idea that you can finish. Only 8 miles to go.

Seeing my friends and boyfriend at mile 19 was so awesome. I didn't think I wanted people there to cheer me on, but I was so happy to see them, and I felt so good that mile that it was just... amazing.

It's true what they say about the last 6 miles being the last half of the marathon. I had to walk a bit those last six miles. Not as much as I wanted to, but I did walk. There was so much pain. My left foot was numb from the pad of my foot to my big and pointer toe. I thought I was doing permanent damage. My knees were in agony, but I just kept moving. Kept struggling through.

Crossing the finish line was so incredibly emotional. When the tiny woman put my medal on I got a little choked up. I haven't ever felt acheivement in that way. I usually just let success go unrewarded, but this... this felt like I... I don't know, like my work paid off, like I deserved a medal. Amazing.

Week 16: Run 2 - MARATHON WEEK

Scheduled: 3
Actual:3
RPE: 3

Awww.... my last training run. It was kind of awesome because DA saw me running and it gave me a little preview of the cheering section I'm getting for the marathon.

Tonight I do a 3 mile walk. Then Sunday, I run 26.2 miles. Check back here Monday or Tuesday for a full update on how it went.

Week 16: Run 1 - MARATHON WEEK

Scheduled: 3
Actual: 3
RPE: 4

I wanted to push this one a little harder than I normally run because I'm feeling soooo stressed about the marathon. It went by so quickly. Glad it's almost over, but also a little sad.

Marathon Week

This is it! I run the marathon on Sunday. I'm so nervous and tired and ready for it to be over with. I cannot tell you how exhausted I am. I'm supposed to be gathering strength and feeling strong, but I feel beaten down. I need to just relax and hydrate and eat right, but... those are all things I'm not that good at doing when I 'need' to do them. Forced relaxation is tough for me. I can relax just fine when it isn't 'required.'

I think I'm going to go throw up now.

Week 15: Run 4

Scheduled: 8
Actual: 8
RPE: 5

I don't know. I'm getting really nervous about the marathon. This run was HARD. I'm wiped out, I'm ready for this all to be over with. I'm glad I'm doing this, yes, but also ready for a big long break.

Week 15: Run 3

Scheduled: 3
Actual: 4
RPE: 3

This was such a pleasant run that I ran an extra mile. It was cloudy and crisp, and a perfect morning. Highly enjoyable.

Week 15: Run 2

Scheduled: 5
Actual: 5
RPE: 4

I was dragging ass on the first part of this run. But by the end I felt really good.

Week 15: Run 1

Scheduled: 3
Actual: 3
RPE: 3

It was such a relief to only have to run 3 miles last night. I was so sick of the amount of time I was spending outside in the cold running.

To continue with the litany of ailments, I think I bruised the bottom of my foot while wearing heels. I don't know for sure, but it does hurt, thankfully it didn't bother me while I was running.

Week 14: Run 4

Scheduled: 9
Actual: 10
RPE: 4

See below. I am so glad the marathon is almost here. This training... oof.

Week 14: Run 3

Scheduled: 5
Actual: 4
RPE: 3

It is safe to say I am burned the fuck out. I did this run on Sunday, after I did Run 4. I just couldn't bring myself to put running clothes on Friday night. Just. Couldn't. Do it. So, since I knew I was going to be in a slinky dress, I decided that I would run on Sunday morning instead and I would feel better about putting my body in a dress that I could not wear a bra, or even a 'sliming undergarment' (read: girdle) in.

So, I ran 4 instead of five. I ran 10 on Saturday instead of 9. It all evens out. And, I'm just absolutely tired of training. I have never trained for something before. I was on the Basketball team in high school for 2 years, and the most training we did was two weeks of practice before games started then it was scaled way back. And b-ball practice is fun, because for the most part you aren't doing line drills. You're learning plays and skills. What was my point? Oh yeah. I haven't trained for anything before. Nothing that I couldn't test out of. Have you guys ever taken a computer training course for work? I did once at this hotel I worked at when we went from what was basically a DOS based system to windows. I learned it in one hour. We had a week of training. By the end of day one, my training person told me I should stop and just help everyone else. Which... what was my point? Oh yeah. I can't test out of this training. The marathon is in two weeks. I'm nervous. But also sick to fucking death of running.

Week 14: Run 2

Scheduled: 8
Actual: 8
RPE: 4

Hmmm. A few weeks ago, at Christmas time, I thought 8 miles was sooooo hard. Now, I can do it without really blinking. I do get frustrated with the time commitment on these longer runs, but after I'm done, I'm so smug. This run felt really good, especially after not running for 4 days.

Week 14: Run 1

Scheduled: 5
Actual: Zip
RPE: NA

I have had a tough week, time wise. So I had to skip this run. I'm hoping to make it up (I allow myself make-ups, I'm not mean like a grade school teacher, "NO MAKE-UPS!), but if I don't, I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

Week 13: Run 4

Scheduled: 18
Actual: 18
RPE: 4

So, my last super long run until the marathon. It was hard. Really hard. But I think most of it was mental. My body wasn't in quite as much pain as it was last week, but I was really stressed out for a large part of the run. I chalk that up to it being my last chance to really push my body until the marathon and overthinking it. Thinking at mile 13 that during the marathon, I'll only be halfway there. At mile 16, during the marathon I'll have 10 more miles to go. At mile 18 that during the marathon, I'll I'll only be 75% finished. Then I started thinking, what was I going to do once I was finished training? So, needless to say, the last long run was the toughest I've ever had.

I can't believe that in three weeks, I'll be finished. Then what?

Week 13: Run 3

Scheduled: 5
Actual: 5
RPE: 5

I kept tripping on this run and kind of tweaking my knee, but nothing came of it. I'm fine.

Week 13: Run 2

Scheduled: 8
Actual: 8
RPE: 4

Nothing real to report.

Week 13: Run 1

Scheduled: 5
Actual: 5
RPE: 4

Not much to say about this run. Good, fast, no significant issues.

Week 12: Run 4

Scheduled: 18
Actual: 18
RPE: 4-6

Let's just sit back a minute and bask in the glory of my first 18 miler, shall we? I mean really. Who thought I could run 18 miles? Not me, that's for sure. But I did. And I have to say, recapping these long runs is kind of hard. I was talking to Louie about it last night and he, the good boyfriend that he is, wanted to know how the run was. And I said it was good. And then I said I'm really nervous about the marathon because it's 8 miles longer than what I just did. And he was like, but you just said that it was good! Which is where, I guess, one word answers can't really encapsulate a run that lasted just under 4 hours. That's half a work day. Spent running.

I'm trying to figure out how to explain why a run that made every muscle in my legs feel like they were broken and constricted and couldn't ever return to normal, could also feel good. I guess it's that even though your legs hurt and you're tired and it might rain, but it's also getting kind of hot in the sun, and you're sick of Fierce Melon Gatorade, but you need some carbs, that there are these moments, fleeting sometimes, but other times lasting 4 or so minutes where your body just moves. And there is no stopping it from moving. It's on autopilot. It doesn't stop hurting, but it doesn't matter that it hurts. This is what flow is. You know you're still in serious agony, and any sane person would just stop, but you keep going because pain means something different to you now. And you know that you are in charge of your body, but it is also in charge of you. Your brain and your extremities have somehow managed to work things out without you having to tell them to. It's amazing.

All that, but it's still really fucking awful too. There are moments lasting far longer than 4 minutes, if you let them, when you think about how crazy it is to spend half a work day running. How it isn't normal. How it isn't right. But you can't let those thoughts stay around for long. The most amazing moment during this run was after an hour I looked at my watch and couldn't believe that an hour had already passed. That first hour was so fun. Then things got bad, but then at mile 7 they got great again. I have to say that I think I hit a piece of the wall at mile 13, but after I drank more Gatorade and let my body do the work, I felt really good for the last two miles. Really good, but also in extreme pain.

"90% of the game is half mental," I think is the Yogi Bera quote.

Week 12: Run 3

Scheduled: 5
Actual: 5
RPE: 4

I got poured on for the first mile. Then it cleared up and the rest of the run was really quite nice, if a bit cold. I'm really liking the 5 milers now. I think I've said this before, but this will probably be 'my distance' for most of my runs post marathon.

Week 12: Run 2

Scheduled: 8
Actual: 8.5 ish
RPE: 4

I was going to write a really long post about last nights run because I had kind of a scary thing happen to me. But after telling the story to Louie and him thinking it really wasn't a big deal, I'm feeling a little... like I overreacted. But then I have to always remember, men-they don't get it. They will try to understand what it feels like to be a woman running alone at 8:30 at night on a dark street and have a strange man run up behind you and 'try to start a conversation,' the same strange man you saw two miles earlier that made you think "that guy, I could totally take him" (which is some strange 6th sense thing working,) and they just won't get it. Not because men are insensitive, or can't understand what rape is (men go to prison, I think they know how rape feels) but because they aren't socialized the same way we are. They aren't warned to never walk alone at night because someone will rape you. They aren't cautioned against drinking too much at parties because someone will rape you. They aren't told to never walk to their car alone because someone might kidnap and rape you. It's just not in their 'fear psyche.'

So anyway, I got scared last night. So scared that I ran a half mile out of the way and after my run felt what I think might be a little what PTSD feels like. I didn't want to go out at night ever again. That's how scared I was.

But now that I got it off my chest, I'm not going to let a little dude who probably meant no harm keep me from enjoying my run. Especially because the first 6 miles of my run last night were so completely awesome, I will be able to use them for my 'visualization' during the marathon. I hit some major flow.

It's supposed to rain this weekend... And I have a 5-miler tonight and an 18-miler on Sunday. Think good thoughts.